Remember Madonna?

Yeah, nobody really cares about her anymore, I know. She’s mostly known for saying bats**t things like “blow up the White House” and ranting incoherently about Trump.

Well I’ve got some good news for you: Madonna has finally left America. It seems Madonna’s plan to perform oral sex on any guy who voted for Hillary Clinton didn’t pan out, so now she’s following her dreams in other ways.

The (former) pop star says she is now living in Portugal, according to a report from Breitbart. She announced the news on Instagram, saying “I used to be a basket case but now I live in Lisbon.” Used to be?

Madonna, who is 59, says the “energy” in Portugal is energizing and inspiring her. She wants to “conquer the world from a new vantage point.” She is working on new music and a film called Loved. The film will be based on the novel The Impossible Lives of Greta Wells about a woman who starts time traveling after getting electroshock therapy.

Now I don’t know about time travel, because I wouldn’t trust Madonna with that level of responsibility, but she could probably use some of the electroshock.

Oh, did I mention this? Put on your p*ssyhat and relive the memories.
Don’t cry for me, America. Oh, we won’t Madonna, we won’t …

did we… ?